WHAT YOU SHOULD TALK ABOUT

Before I suggest some conversational topics, keep this rule in mind: the main purpose of this conversation is not for you to tell him all about you. It’s for you to encourage him to talk about himself. When he opens up and reveals things to you that matter to him, it creates a bond. Good listeners are few and far between in this world, and when someone seems genuinely interested in us and is an attentive listener, we naturally want to be around them.

NOTE: You may encounter men who enjoy talking about themselves TOO much. If he simply will not shut up, or his tendency is to “brag” rather than “share,” then by using these techniques you’ll find out very quickly if he’s a guy you can’t see yourself dating. Here’s an interesting technique to use. My friend Dean Cortez, the popular dating coach for men, studied the tactics used by Hostage Negotiators in order to come up with strategies for “emotionally connecting” with people. (You’ve seen Hostage Negotiators before, in the movies and on TV…when the bad guys are holed up with a bunch of hostages, or someone is standing on the roof of a building and threatening to

jump, a Negotiator gets called in to talk to them and get them to surrender peacefully.) Negotiators are highly trained in conversational tactics that are designed to quickly create an emotional connection with the other person. One technique Dean told me about, which is great to use when you’re chatting with men, is to use what are called “Minimal Encouragers.”

MINIMAL ENCOURAGERS

These are simply short phrases which you’ll say while the other person is telling you something about himself. Minimal Encouragers are designed to show that you’re listening, and that you’re interested and want them to continue.

Examples:

“That’s so interesting. Tell me more.”

“Wow, I never knew that. How did you learn about that?”

“I feel exactly the same way…”

“You and I are really on the same page, I couldn’t agree more…”

And now, you’re encouraging him to continue talking. You’re not jumping in with your own thoughts or your own stories. As for how you get him to start talking about things that matter to him, we’ll give you a big list of questions in a moment that are excellent for sparking conversations and keeping them flowing.

Inspired from Penguin Method “ women guidance to find the love of their life”