WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T TALK ABOUT

As I said before, you want to avoid long-winded discussions about your ex. It’s a radioactive topic. Furthermore, don’t say anything negative about any of the men you’ve been with in the past. He might bring up the subject first, by making a sarcastic comment about his ex-girlfriend or ex-wife; this does NOT mean you know have the right to tell him a story about your ex-boyfriend slept with one of your friends. Men AND women judge each other on how we talk about our exes. Maybe we don’t do it consciously, but we judge each other on this just the same. If you talk about how your ex-boyfriend cheated on you, he’s might think,

1. That you have a history of dating jerks (which diminishes your value in his eyes), or

1. There’s something wrong with you that MAKES men cheat on you!

If you mention how your ex was a loser, in his mind, you must not be much of a prize yourself. Why else would you date such a man? Think about it if the situation was reversed, and a guy you just met started telling you how his ex-girlfriend was a lying slut. He’d lose some points with you, wouldn’t he? After all, what kind of guy would get mixed up with a lying slut?

EMOTIONAL CONVERSATION CONNECTORS

Right from the start, you should aim to set yourself apart from the other women he has dated. One of the most powerful ways to do this is through compelling conversation. You know how women are fond of talking about “chemistry?” We dream of meeting a guy and it feels like the two of us have known each other forever, and getting together with him feels like “destiny.” Well, men also love the idea of “chemistry.” As we talked about

before, the typical guy has plenty of his own challenges, frustrations and pressures on the dating scene. One of the biggest pressures a guy feels is to have to carry the conversation the whole time. Think about what he’s up against…

• There’s some unwritten rule that says HE is the one who has to approach the woman and “break the ice” by saying something witty.
• HE is the one who needs to figure out how to get her phone number, without seeming too bold, and without scaring her off.
•  And if he’s lucky enough to get her to agree to go out on a date with him, he’s the one who has to choose the location, arrange everything, and make sure she feels comfortable and has an enjoyable time. He will feel pressure to keep the conversation flowing, since one of his biggest fears will be the dreaded “awkward silence.”

Therefore, if he meets a woman who makes him feel as if they share a connection—AND she takes the “conversational pressure” off of him, by having interesting things to say, and interesting questions to ask—believe me, he’s going to want to spend more time with that gal! Chatting with him about these questions can accomplish multiple things:

You’re creating chemistry with him. He gives his answer to your question, then you share your own answer. The two of you are now sharing on a very personal level—a level that is way beyond any conversation he’s had recently with a woman he just met.

You’re getting to know him in a deeper sense. You’re learning what makes him tick. Hopefully, as he answers your questions and shares his thoughts and feelings, you’ll get the feeling that the two of you will be compatible. (If you get the sense that the two of you WON’T be compatible, then it’s better for you to find this out now-- rather than weeks or months from now, when you’ll have wasted your time on a relationship with a guy that isn’t going anywhere!)

You’re distinguishing yourself from the other women he normally meets. He will see you as someone he can share his thoughts, emotions, dreams, and fears with. He will look forward to his conversations with you, because you understand him in a way that most other people don’t.

When you share your thoughts on the question, and talk about your own hopes/dreams/fears/feelings, it’s an opportunity for him to

understand YOU on a deeper level. You can mention how you’re ambitious about a goal. Or passionate about a cause. Or how much you value your family and friends. It can create an opportunity for you to mention a talent or an accomplishment you are proud of, or for you to talk about the things in life that inspire you. These questions can be gateways to amazing conversations. (Just be sure what when you ask him one of these questions, you have your own answer ready to discuss!)

Inspired from Penguin Method “ women guidance to find thelove of their life”